Yesterday we took them to the Great Pumpkin Patch. It’s an amazing place. Live entertainment, food and crafts, a whole area of giant inflatable jumping thingies, horse rides, petting zoo, hayride to the pumpkin patch where they got to pick out their pumpkin – everything you could want, right? Well, little Brayden sees the ONE thing that he’s not able to do – the bungee jump. For one thing, it was $10; for another, it was for ages 12 and up. So even though he got to do everything else on the farm, he started whining about wanting to bungee jump and was unhappy for at least 20 minutes about it. I finally leaned down to talk him into an attitude adjustment: “Brayden, we have all these other wonderful things that you are doing and instead of appreciating them, you are getting all upset about the ONE thing that you aren’t going to be able to do. You need to tell Pops ‘thank you’ for bringing you here and letting you do all this stuff and dry up about the one thing you can’t do!”

As I was speaking to him, I’m pretty sure I felt a tap on the shoulder. I turned around and it was God. I’m not sure if God rolls His eyes, but if He does, I bet he rolled them at me yesterday. As the words to Brayden were coming out of my mouth, I realized that those very words have been applicable to me for many years. Am I not just like that spoiled little boy? I have everything in the world to be thankful for – and I am – I thank God for my blessings every day. But I also complain about every little ache and pain. I constantly worry about our finances (or the lack thereof) and always wish we had more money. I have a good Christian man as my husband, but I am always wishing he would spend more time with me. God gives me so many blessings – a family to love, a job that I enjoy, a home, a free country to live in, a church family to support me, reasonable health (which would be much better if I had been a better steward of it), enough money to pay my bills, – so many things. But I spend so much time unhappy and wishing for the things I DON’T have. What a spoiled rotten little kid I am.

I hope I can remember this gentle lesson from my Lord for longer than a couple of days. The next time I forget, Father, please give me another little nudge.

Grandkids are the highlight of my life. They bring such joy to my heart. I am also filled with affection for many of my little tikes I teach. One of these days I am going to give Tim a heart attack by bringing one of them home to live with us. So many of them live in such bad situations – it just breaks your heart. A friend of mine – single mom- is working 4 jobs to support not only her own kids, but a little boy that was a friend of the family of her daughter who needed a place to live. So she took him in – doesn’t get any money for it because it’s unofficial. Just works ‘round the clock to pay the bills. I really admire that. I think I would do that if I had the energy and if my husband wouldn’t divorce me.

I’ve been getting more out of church lately than I have in a while. The last couple of sermons have really been on topics I needed to hear – worrying and judging others. I guess prayer is the answer to both of those. It’s pretty much the answer to everything. Our Sunday school class is really great – I can’t say enough good things about the Ray Vanderlaan videos we’ve been using for the past few years. He will be in Birmingham in January and a group of us will be going down to the conference – hopefully will get to meet him.

I’ve been pretty bummed not to be in our singing group anymore. Now they have 2 new guys who are awesome and have gigs all the time and will be doing a CD in a few days. Makes me really sad not to be a part of it.

Let’s see – what else is going on? Just found out my niece is having her 3rd baby in March. Thank goodness for Facebook – I would never know anything. I haven’t even met her second child yet, but at least I can see the pics on Facebook. Speaking of that – one of my brothers actually joined last week!! It’s so weird for Mike to be on there. I doubt he’ll be very active on it, but still. . . FB is practically my only connection to some of my nieces and nephews – they live all over the U.S. and we rarely get together anymore (sad face), but at least I can keep up with them a bit.

Work is going well – I’ve really been enjoying it the past couple of years. I mean, sure there’s a stressful day once in a while, but for the most part I really enjoy it. I guess it’s a good thing since we will never have the money to retire. Kids – here’s a tip: if you are bad with money, DON’T marry somebody who is also bad with money. You’ll always be broke. Especially if you raise 2 kids who are unable to support themselves or their children. . . . Oh well, so much to be thankful for – just need to focus on that.

Well, these ramblings in the wee hours of the morning are not especially productive. We have the day off tomorrow – gonna TRY to blast my husband out of his studio and make him take me somewhere. So tired of being a music widow. Anyway, my one reader will undoubtedly be thinking that this blog is all about me – whining and self centered. I don’t care. It’s my blog and I’ll whine if I want to. There! Song title for ya. Good night.

I remember when my brother got his first computer. (no internet, just a computer.) He was the only person I knew at the time with a computer – I guess it would have been early 80’s? I asked him what he was going to do with it. He said he was going to do his bills on it. I said, “How stupid! You can do your bills in a notebook! What do you need a computer for??” He said, well you can play games on it and stuff. So I played one or two of his games on it – it was okay, but not worth the ridiculous price tag.

Wow – I guess I am not one of those forward-thinking people that could have envisioned all the possible applications, and I certainly NEVER thought I would be a computer junkie! In fact, when my husband bought OUR first computer, I told him – “Your music already takes up all your time – if you get a computer, I’ll NEVER see you!” I was right, but I was the one always using it, not him.

I’ve been doing the bulk of my Christmas shopping online since we first had internet. (the old dial-up – remember that “dong, ga-dong” sound?) Now if any of us has an ache or pain or any other medical symptom – instant medical advice on the internet. See an actor on a show that looks vaguely familiar? Google him and figure out what other show you saw him on years ago. Wanna know the best directions for making a trip? Mapquest. Wanna know the best places to eat, stay, and visit on that trip? Wanna go ahead and make reservations, print out tickets, – you name it. Wanna buy a house? You can see visual tours of homes anywhere in the world. In the market for a product? You can read customer reviews so you will know which is the best. Need to settle a bet – look up a word – translate something into another language? You can read books, stream movies, get lesson plans – the list is seriously endless. The potential is almost scary.

Other than the internet, I’m really not that into technology. Don’t really care about reading with a Kindle or having the latest i-phone. (mostly because we’re broke) But I don’t think I could give up the convenience of the internet, now that I know what it can do for us. The danger is in being more involved in a cyber world than the real world. It’s like kids today and the constant texting – but that is a whole ‘nother post. Anyway – now that we have precious grandkids living in our home – I often use the internet with them. We can youtube color songs and play alphabet games and look up animals and all sorts of other things. But sometimes it’s just time to turn the computer off and go outside and swing.
I don’t really have a point. It’s late and I have to get up in a few hours to go to work, but am wide awake. The joys of menopause. That and the body temperature that rivals the sun. blech!

Anyway – How can I make myself go to sleep???? Oh yeah, Ask.com!

Working with kids and now having grandkids living with us, I get to see kids fall down about 10 times a day. Once in a while there are tears, but most of the time there is just a brief, stunned look and then they jump up and start running w/ those untied shoelaces again. Yesterday my granddaughter ran right into a glass-topped table and fell. The impact shook the house- everything on the table went flying across the room and my heart got stuck in my throat because I just knew she was really hurt. Then we heard a little “woops” and she got back up and kept on going like nothing happened. It’s a cliché, but kids are really so resilient. When we fall down as adults, it is much more traumatic. Well, it is for me, anyway.

Last night I fell into the bathtub. I don’t mean I slipped down onto my tush. No- this was a headfirst, “saw my whole life flash before my eyes”, “I didn’t even KNOW I could do the splits!”, “glad there aren’t any villagers around because HERE COMES THE TSUNAMI!” kind of fall. My forehead hit the tub hard, my limbs got all tangled up, water splashed all over the bathroom, and I just knew I had a concussion, a broken leg and other bad stuff. Afterward I sat there with the water still running and didn’t move for a full five minutes, trying to figure out if I was alive or not. Anyway – turns out I’m just a little bruised up and a bit sore today. Thank goodness because it could have been much worse.

I guess my point is – kids get over things a lot quicker than we do. They get mad and have harsh words with their best friend, and an hour later it’s forgotten. Grown-ups don’t seem to be able to do the same thing. I’ve seen people throw away 20-year friendships over a quarrel. I’ve seen people become estranged from close family members because of a disagreement.

Jesus tells us – if we want to go to heaven, we have to become like children. It doesn’t mean we have to be innocent and naïve – that’s hard to do in this world. It means we need to get over stuff- be forgiving of others. Give love freely. My granddaughter brings me “flowers” (actually weeds w/ a tiny flower on them) every time she goes outside. Kids are very loving and giving. Sure, sometimes they can be selfish and petty, but they usually feel very guilty about it afterward. That’s called being penitent.

Kids are very observant. Although at times they seem like they don’t know anybody else is in the world, they also notice everything about you sometimes. Sometimes they notice TOO much. But it makes me realize, sometimes I go all day without really noticing other people the way I should. We adults often stay so wrapped up in ourselves we forget to look around and see who ELSE might have problems. Kids, on the other hand, love to help others. Sure – most of the time their “help” is more of a nuisance, but they mean well. Grandson Brayden loves to fold clothes. The other night he folded towels, washcloths and dishtowels and spent the next half hour asking me where he should put EACH one – one at a time. Sure I could have done it in 5 minutes myself, but he loves to help. I’m sure he’ll get over it by the time he’s old enough to be a REAL help, but still – it’s very sweet.

So – I guess the message is- I’m going to try to be more childlike, ‘cause I want to go to Heaven one of these days. (Although I’m not ready to get on the bus just yet.)

Well, I had one of the best Christmases I’ve had in a long time. I was so disappointed that the grandkids wouldn’t be with us this year, but Brett was here and the four of us spent more time together than we have in ages. We just had so much fun laughing alot and watching old home movies and hanging out. The trip to Gatlinburg was so much fun too! Really a special Christmas. I got to see some of my family when they came over for our New year’s thing. But Pam and John didn’t make the trip because they are coming this weekend for Casey’s wedding. Also Brenda isn’t doing well, so they didn’t come either. But it was still a nice time with the rest of us.

Feels kind of weird to have Mitzi married and Casey will be this weekend. I look at old pictures of my nieces and nephews and it seems like they should still be kids. Sometimes I wish I could just freeze time. Casey will never spend the night with me and watch movies again. Mitzi won’t ever sit in my lap and let me read stories to her anymore. Kind of sad. I wish I could keep the grandkids the age they are right now but they will be growing up too. See – this is why I don’t blog more often. It always makes me get sentimental and depressed.

Okay – well, maybe one of these days we’ll be able to get back to work. The grandkids are supposed to be home around Feb 1, eventually spring WILL arrive, then summer and I am SOOOOo ready for it! For now, I guess I will hibernate a while longer.

Anyhoo- since I have an unexpected snow day today, I have decided to try and recapture some of that childhood magic by recalling a few moments from Christmases long ago.
In no particular order:

I remember going with my Daddy and brothers to our farm in the snow (which is rare here in Alabama) to cut down a Christmas tree. Hiking forever through the woods to find just the right one. (Many years later I took my husband over there with the idea of doing the same thing, but now all the trees are like 100 feet tall. I guess that was a long time ago!)

I remember Daddy nailing two pieces of wood together in an “X” shape to make a stand and then nailing it into the bottom of the trunk. (Later I learned that you can actually BUY tree stands already made! Who knew?)

I remember watching them put the lights on- BIG ole light bulbs! And helping put lots of silver icicles all over it and when it was plugged in, I had never seen anything so beautiful!

I remember my brother, Don, trying to make me get into bed by telling me he could see Santa coming down the road toward our house. Instead of jumping into bed, though, I ran to the window to try and see him myself. (I never saw anything.)

I remember using black men’s socks for stockings and wondering why Santa always had to put an apple and orange and nuts (from our tree!) in the bottom instead of just filling the whole thing w/ just candy. (That Santa was a thrifty fellow when I was growing up.)

I remember every year after opening presents, we would pack the 6 of us into the car and drive to Fort Payne to see Mamaw ‘n’ them. We would get a “poke” – (sack w/ candy in it) and exchange gifts w/ the person whose name we had drawn at Thanksgiving. Seems like there were 100 people crammed into that little house. One year my Uncle Wayne had gotten my name and he gave me the coolest gift. It was a haunted house “piggy bank”. You would put a penny on the doormat and the doors would open and a witch would come out and snatch the penny. Except I thought it was Jesus taking the money. I got a big kick that year out of asking all the aunts and uncles for a penny and having them watch while Jesus snatched it away from them!

I remember begging my daddy every year to tell us the “Santa story”. My daddy was the best storyteller. He would tell about how his father had helped rescue Santa when his sleigh had fallen into the freezing river one year when he (Daddy) was a little boy. I still wonder if it really happened. Daddy had some great stories!

I remember one year when I was old enough to “know” about Santa – my mom had been sick and my daddy was taking me to the annual Civitan Christmas party. Each year Santa would give a gift to each child at the party. By this time, I had figured out that the parents would put the gift under the tree ahead of time. I thought since my mom had been so sick, there wouldn’t be anything under the tree for me, so I tried to melt into the background during the Santa thing, so as not to embarrass my daddy when he realized he hadn’t gotten me anything. But the last little box under that tree WAS for me – an emerald birthstone ring! My daddy had remembered!

I remember one year especially. Daddy and Mom and I were in the car headed to the annual Civitan Christmas party and I was SOO excited. (we didn’t go to many parties) On our way, we passed a woman walking by the side of the road. Daddy looked at her in the rear view mirror and said “She’s crying – something’s wrong!” He backed the car up and started talking to her. Turns out her husband had just stabbed her in the hand and she was running away from him. Instead of a party that year, we took a trip to the emergency room. Mom stayed with the woman while Daddy called the police and talked to them and got her some help. Spoiled brat that I was – I was fuming the whole time about missing the party. Anyway – now I realize that he did the right thing, of course and that is one of my favorite memories of my daddy.

I remember yet another Civitan Christmas party in which I won a John Deere tractor set. Wish I still had that thing!

I remember getting a stereo when I was about 13 and thinking I had the coolest parents in the world. (It was probably the only time I ever thought that.)

I remember always having that horrible Claxton fruitcake in the house because the Civitans had to sell it every year. We always ended up with tons of it – you couldn’t give the stuff away, much less sell it! Blech!

I remember fires in the fireplace – the logs crackling and sparks flying and the smell and the warmth.

I remember Mom baking goodies and cooking ham and all the good smells.

I remember feeling safe and secure having my parents and brothers around me. I will never have that feeling again. Now I’m the grown-up and trying to provide happy memories for the kids and grandkids. I hope they have good stories to tell when I’m gone.

So here goes:
1. “Mimi, your breath stinks.” (that’s what he gets for climbing into my lap FIRST thing in the morning before I’ve had a chance to brush my teeth.)
2. “Mimi, your teeth are yellow!” (that’s what I get for drinking nothing but Diet Mountain Dew and coffee for the past 20 years.)
3. “Mimi, your eyes are red.” (that’s what I get for staring at a computer screen 10 hours a day for the past 10 years.)
4. “You sing good!” (what does he know? He’s five.)
5. “I like you better than Pops.” (that’s what Pops gets for not being all soft and smushy.)
6. “I like Nina’s food better than this.” (Nina’s pepperoni on crackers vs. Mimi’s homemade meat loaf, mashed potatoes, fried okra, and apple pie. That’s what I get for cooking, I guess.)
7. “Pops, your mustache is gray!” (that’s what Pops gets for being old.)
8. “Mimi, you make good play-dough snakes!” (I really do.)
9. “I like Miss Judy’s cupcakes better than yours because she puts a little candy inside them.” (That’s what I get for taking them to church.)
10. “I love you, Mimi!” (that’s what I get for putting up with all those insults.)

I have blogged before about how my dog, Buster, makes me feel when I come home and he runs to me, wagging that tail in joy. Well, as great as that feels, it pales in comparison to having the pitter patter of those little feet running toward you screaming “MIMI!!!!!” (Okay, the feet aren’t doing the screaming, but you know what I mean.)
I know they won’t be living with us forever. And they won’t be little and innocent forever. And I believe they are about to go visit their Daddy for 6 weeks. It will be much quieter around here and I might actually be able to catch up on some things I need to get done and keep my house looking decent for a few days, but I’m sure going to miss having those little buggers around!

I am surprised most about how emotional I was this whole weekend.  I am not a big cryer and here I was blubbering over everything.  Part of it was seeing my niece all grown up and beautiful and getting married, of course.   But I wasn’t expecting to cry at the sight of her sister – a gorgeous bridesmaid- in tears as Mitzi walked down the aisle and again at the reception as the happy couple had their first dance as man and wife.  Leslie feels like she has lost her best friend and I ache for her.   I couldn’t think of anything to say to make her feel better and I’m even crying now, just writing this.  I wasn’t expecting to cry seeing John dancing with his daughter at the reception – he wasn’t ready to give away his little girl, but what cha gonna do?  It was just so sad and happy at the same time. 

Sometimes I just wonder why things have to change?  Why can’t happy families just stay the same age and keep living together always?  I know Clint has been welcomed into the family and soon there will be adorable children to love – but right now- just a little bit, he seems like an interloper that has invaded this family.  I know exactly how they feel because Tim and I felt the same way the first time our daughter brought her then-boyfriend (later husband, and now ex-husband) home for a visit.  It just felt weird having him there. 

I guess it’s only natural for young people to fall in love and move on with their lives, but it sure takes some getting used to.   I guess the benefit for those left behind are the children of the union and the happiness they bring into our lives.  If you want grandkids, you have to let your children grow up.  It’s the way life works, I guess. 

Anyway – it’s a good thing I don’t have these emotional break-downs very often.   My little nephew Casey is getting married in January.   Maybe I’ll be okay by then.

Well, a new school year is underway.  So far, so good.  I love seeing the new little kindergarteners each year – they are so sweet and so innocent and such babies!  There is no sweeter sound to me than the giggles of a bunch of 5  year olds listening to me read stories with my silly voices.  Then as soon as I turn the last page, “Wead it adain, wead it adain!!!!”     That can really make the bluckiest day a lot brighter.   ALMOST makes up for having to get up at 5:15. . . .  

Lots of changes going on in my family.  My daughter’s divorce just became final and she is having to make several life decisions right now.  I pray that she will seek God’s will in her life.  My son is in his last year of college (hopefully) and will be making some big decisions soon also.  I don’t guess my husband and I are going to have one of those families in which children and grandchildren settle nearby and get together often.   Brett will probably end up in Florida since that is where his lover-girl lives.  I really find myself envying those families that are able to spend alot of time together.

One of my nieces, as I mentioned, has moved to China to teach for a year – man I wish I had the guts to do something like that!  She is very independent, that’s for sure!  Love Leslie SOOOO much and pray for her every day.  Her sister Mitzi is getting married in a few weeks.  We got to meet Clint (fiance) at Christmas and he seems like an outstanding young man – very happy for them both!  We are trying to decide if we will take several days off to drive out to Texas for the wedding.  It’s kind of a hardship, but I would hate to miss it.

Anyway – it seems like everybody’s life is changing but mine sometimes.  I really want to make some changes.  Tim and I have started planning a trip to Europe for our 20th anniversary (in 3 years) so that is something to look forward to (and save up for!).  But I seriously feel the urge to just pick up and move to some new place where we don’t know anybody.   Just feel like I’m going through life on auto-pilot and maybe that would be a way to shake things up.  I’m open to less drastic solutions, though.  I am about ready for this mid-life crisis to be over. . . .

I sat there for a minute with many things running through my head.   It is just as well, I guess, that we are not allowed to have weapons at school.  Anyway, my mama taught me if you can’t say something nice, just don’t say anything at all.  So . . I didn’t say anything. . .